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What if I said that God is metaphorically tying my hands? And in some semblance, almost literally tying my hands...

Two days ago, I woke up to pain in my thumb joints on both of my hands and the pain is strong enough to prevent pinching, gripping, squeezing, etc. As I type this, I have a caveman like hold on my fork because I cannot hold it normally. After having a beautiful, revelatory, convicting coffee conversation with a dear friend, it became more and more clear. God wants me to stop everything I am doing. If I don't listen, He'll stop everything for me. And that He has.

If you're new here, I am a songwriter, singer, guitarist, pianist, and writer. For a living, I rely on using my hands to play my guitar, edit and create content on my phone, I also use my hands to design jewelry with my sister. And like many people, I have to have the full range of motion to do almost everything.

So, you can see how I am sensing a divine pattern here. No guitar. No editing. No jewelry making. Nothing. It hurts to even hold my phone and press "send" on a text.

I came home from the coffee catch-up with my friend, locked myself in my closet and told God how done I am. I am exasperated. I am exhausted. I feel incredibly defeated. I told Him I didn't want to thank Him, I didn't want to praise Him, I didn't want to worship but that I WOULD. Despite my flesh, I will continue to say "you are worthy." Despite my sadness and despair, I will worship and despite feeling incredibly lost, I will pray. And in my prayer time, I heard Him say "take a break."

I don't know for how long or all that it entails but I will be deleting my Instagram and Tiktok until further notice. I'm believing for a revival in my spirit and in my body during this time.

I will be on here, though. I'll be writing and posting to my blog and am happy to interact via the comment section.